Resolve Conflicts, Manage Anger and Other Emotions
What words or phrases come to your mind when you hear the word Anger? Most of us think of words like: violence, abuse, control, fear. In our workshops, participants often generate a list of fifteen or twenty words and phrases about anger - all negative. If anger is that bad, then we should get rid of it, right?
Not so. The emotion we call anger is not destructive in itself, it is a normal and even healthy emotion. It is not the feeling which is destructive, but how we handle the feeling, and when it becomes destructive, it is because we have not had, or have not accessed, the opportunity to learn how to use it constructively. Anger can help you be assertive, persevere, be motivated, and feel protected.
Interactional Dynamics presents concepts and skills that are involved in intervening and interacting effectively.
These concepts and skills have been successful with groups of all sizes from corporate staffs to security teams, social service providers, single families and couples.
We have learned that this specific process of interaction is not only effective and efficient, but also provides the opportunity to allow the most positive outcomes possible in almost every environment.
Applying these skills and concepts will allow you to have successful interventions and interactions (win-win results) in your work life as well as personal life. We can help your group create a climate that generates respect and support for all.
When you choose your behavior, respond and not react, what you say or do will be the product of your values, logic, intuition and wisdom. The more grounded you are, the more free will be available to you. Your highest priority in an interaction is to keep yourself grounded, centered, and calm.
Our impulse control model has helped people in a wide variety of settings to train themselves to succeed in managing their emotions effectively and staying centered as they function in their job or role.
The inspiration for our work has come from our commitment to becoming a part of ending abuse, both domestically and in the workplace. It is possible to assert yourself and work productively while at the same time respecting those around you and defending their rights as well as your own.
You can learn to be assertive and at the same time considerate. Our curriculum includes 5 interpersonal rights that belong to all of us. You have the right to safety (from any sort of abuse. whether physical, emotional, social, or political), space (to pause an interaction), self-care, perception respect, and to have your concerns addressed.
Abusive behaviors are anything a person may do or say that diminishes another being. This includes behaviors that hurt, punish, insult, condescend, intimidate, belittle, coerce, oppress, disrespect, stereo-type, or control. Desk-rage has become quite common and those companies that proactively seek to improve their corporate culture by addressing the causes of negative feeling and behavior at the workplace will benefit with a more calm, productive working environment.
This improves not only productivity, but the work environment and life satisfaction. Employees that feel good, and feel supported and encouraged, do a better job whether in marketing, or production or support services or management.
For more than thirty years we have been teaching and practicing Dynamic Interaction Skills across the country.
These dynamic skills remains a founding intervention resource for the "Country Fair" celebrated annually in Venetia, OR. This gathering of over 45,000 people was the testing ground for our concepts and skills. Dynamic Interaction Skills began as 'crisis intervention program' but the feedback showed that these skills and concepts are as effective in working environment as well as our personal relationships.
Everyone Gets Three Chips
Often we become focused on the business or content of an interaction not realizing that the quality of our day depends even more, on the process of our interaction.
We do not have to sacrifice efficiency or content resolution to pay attention to how we interact and how we feel at the end of an interaction.
This is an important concept to be mindful of when beginning an interaction. It takes some practice to broaden you focus to consider process and bringing positive energy as well as expertise and getting the job done.
Chip #1 – Business- There is usually a content reason for the interaction, some issue to resolve. If the content is resolved efficiently and to the satisfaction to both parties, each individual wins a ’chip’.
Chip #2 – Care and Respect- There are concepts and skills in this curriculum to help you to have a respectful and caring interaction without losing business efficiency. If each individual feels cared for respected and the business gets done well, you have had a 2 chip interaction!
Chip # 3 - Fun – When you try to have a good time while getting the job done. We know that business is more successful and quality of life improves when those present are feeling up and positive while they work. You can integrate being encouraging or supportive, use humor or empathy, develop compassion and kindness.
Formula to Assess Quality Interactions
Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Did we get the business done and resolve the issue to each person's satisfaction? Did the situation get resolved?
2. Did each person get heard, validated, empathized with? Were their rights respected as individuals?
3. Did we work through the interaction feeling a positive as possible?
4. If we got less than 3 chips from an interaction, how can we get more next time?
We believe that we all have the same basic needs - to be loved, to be accepted, to be treated with respect - and that those of us who try to get those needs met by using anger, intimidation, and violence don’t know a better way.