3 WORKING ASSUMPTIONS
2. YOU KNOW YOU BETTER THAN I DO,
I KNOW ME BETTER THAN YOU DO
When you interact with anyone, remember that you are the authority in
presenting what you think and feel. Only you have direct
access to your own thoughts, feelings, perceptions and are therefore the leading authority on these items.
You should assume that the feeling and thoughts claimed by others in the interaction are accurate!
If you are confused by what they are sharing, getting a double or mixed message, or if you experience a contradiction between, say, their words and behavior, you should discuss this confusion and ask for clarification.
Avoid phrases like:
- - “that’s not what you really think (or feel)”
- -“you don't mean that”
These phrases tend to generate anger or defensiveness in the other person. When someone feels the vulnerability of not being believed or trusted, they will tend to become angry which is usually counterproductive to the process of efficient resolution..
Learn to accept each person’s self description at the moment even if their actions suggest other emotions.
