3 WORKING ASSUMPTIONS
3. MUTUAL SINCERITY
Sincerity is extremely important.
For a positive interaction, you must both offer sincerity and assume that this is what you are receiving from others.
If you interact as though others are purposefully manipulating, or if they think that you are trying to manipulate them, it will be difficult if not impossible to negotiate effectively or in good faith.
If you find yourself doubting sincerity during an interaction, sharing your confusion (without judgment) and ask for clarification. This allows the other individuals to make adjustments without having to defend themselves from perceived attacks and avoid feeling like they are entering into a power struggle.
Within the bounds of sincerity there are still many choices from which to respond or share with another. You are never “just being honest” or stuck being honest. Choice and free will always apply.
Your experiences are a combination of sensations (information that comes to you from your environment) and projections (your feelings and beliefs, history, mood, etc.).
Sharing your thoughts, feelings, perceptions, projections, etc. is the process of converting your experiences to verbal and nonverbal bits, and sending them to others. As you do this it is impossible not to add, delete, and edit items. It is also impossible to separate your physical sensations and your opinions as they all form one experience.
The best you or any of us can do to be sincere. Share your experiences and physical sensations with as much skill as you have and with as few changes as memory and verbal skills allow.
This is the essence of sharing in “good faith”.
These three working assumptions may appear more obvious than profound. Ironically, the more familiar individuals are with each other, the more likely they are to presume that they know each others thoughts and feeling and often they are likely to violate one or more of these working assumptions.
