The "Grounding" Process
Some people use only visualization to become grounded. Others merely empty their minds similar to meditation. We feel that the following elements are essential regardless of the method you choose. We
generally recommend a set of six phrases as follows:
1. Two direct suggestions that you relax: “Calm down” or “Take it easy” are common examples. Take a moment now, close your eyes, take a deep breath,
and as you exhale hear yourself say two of these to yourself inside. You may notice that hearing these phrases inside you facilitates your ability to relax.
2. Two affirmations: Affirmations are statements you make about yourself that are always positive and always true no matter what you feel or what you’ve done.
Affirmations inspire good feelings about you that are imperative to feeling grounded and asserting yourself. “I am a valuable human being”, is an example of an affirmation that you can use anytime.
You have intrinsic value as a being and therefore are worth taking care of. We are all imperfect and all make mistakes and occasionally do things or feel things that we are not proud of. Do not confuse your being with your actions. You can despise what you just did and continue to love and respect yourself.
We take for granted the many things we can sense and do every day and often do not stop to consider how special it is to exist as a conscious, sentient being on a planet teeming with life.
“I am doing the best that I can,” is another affirmation that meets our criteria for positive self-talk. You are never doing the best that you can imagine. Your ideals will always be more perfect than your real behavior and serve as a direction -- something to aim at. At any given moment, however, you are doing the best that you can with the skills and resources that you are able to employ.
3. Two “unhookers”: When you take space to ground, it is important to let go of the situation that excited you, so that you can calm down. We call this “unhooking” from the situation.
Remember that maintaining a grounded state of being is a higher priority at most given moments than either process or content.
You must get away from what is triggering you and pause in your immediate task to get yourself grounded before resuming the interaction.
While you are grounding, your state of being is all that matters. Some people just say, “let it go” or “it’s not worth it”. Some people like to consider a larger perspective (we call this getting cosmic) and say, “ I’m just a speck, living on a speck”, or “in a hundred years this moment will not matter at all”.
Some people picture themselves in a place of peace and security like their favorite nature spot or a comfortable chair at home. The important thing is that you are able to remind yourself to dissociate from the situation at hand so you can more easily return to a grounded state.
Unhooking doesn’t mean you stuff the current problem that is causing your tension, but for the short time you are grounding, you let go of the problems in order to return to the state of calm and alert which will allow you to deal with your stress in the most healthy way.
