KNOWING YOUR LIMITS
- Self-care rest, food, etc.
You have the right to do what you need to do to provide basic care to yourself as well as the obligation to your partner to provide that care, as much as possible, for yourself. Encourage and support you partner to also take care of themselves. This may include rest, food, shelter, medical care, etc.
If you need self-care, let your partner know and enlist their support in doing so. It is often better to share your needs rather than to proceed without this care and perform less well.
- Personal limits on issue and content
You may have significant limitations with regarding specific issues due to trauma history, or values clash, or other personal experiences.
No one, regardless of their credentials, can handle everything. Sharing vulnerabilities with your partner allows them to be more considerate when it comes to these limitations.
Sharing these limits comes with an obligation for your partner to acknowledge your vulnerability and work to ensure that they respect your position.
- Live Within Your Agreement
Live within the limits of the vows, rules, and guidelines of your relationship Respect the limits defined by your personal agreement.
- Setting boundaries
Personal boundaries help you protect yourself from having your rights violated. There can be boundaries set in the function of your relationshop or as a parent, or in other position of authority.
Keeping someone from insulting you or abusing you in any manner is an example of setting a personal boundary. If you tell someone that they can't treat you a certain way, you are demanding that they do not do this. This implies that you can do something to stop them. Without this power you cannot really make a demand that will stick. Be sure that adequate consequences are in-place or no boundary has been set.
Parenting power is inherent in the fact that you are the independent and your children are the dependents. This often makes it easy to set limits or negotiate with children. It is recommended to ask “what power do I have?” in any relationship so that you know what ground you are standing on.
