Falling in Love is FUN!
Relationships can be easy and fun at first. Both parties have their ‘best foot forward’.
It is natural that we show each other these qualities first. They are the most attractive and positive, the least vulnerable or problematic. Add to this the ‘magic dust’ of "in love-ness" and every moment is fun. It is a great grace period. Love making can erase almost any argument during this stage.
At this stage we don't having to negotiate hard things like parenting, or money, or home ownership yet because we haven’t yet developed those things that require careful negotiation.
Having a lover or romantic partner does not mean the same thing as having a spouse or life partner. This ‘free play’ can last from a few months to a year or two, but, then things change.
The magic dust becomes intermittent and seems to happen only on special occasions. Shared responsibilities weave together and then issues arise.
But, all is not lost!
A much deeper love can replace and outweigh the magic dust. Romance requires some effort but can be sustained.
Friendship and family can bring a greater joy and security in the long run. It is ironic that only when we start to develop trust and commitment that we are safe enough to share the more sensitive, and often more problematic parts of ourselves, and difficulties arise.
The politics of a committed relationship are much more complicated but, can be more rewarding to work out long-term.
